


Stumbling in the Dark

by fireynovacat



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind Kanan Jarrus, Ezra no talk, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Gift Exchange, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan Lives, Sensory Deprivation, Torture, he angy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireynovacat/pseuds/fireynovacat
Summary: It's horribly dark and empty. Like he's back to square one with seeing with the Force. Except this time, he can't use anything else either. And he doesn't know where his family is, or if they're alive.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, The Ghost Crew & Kanan Jarrus
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30
Collections: Phoenix Nest May the Fourth Exchange 2020





	Stumbling in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarseekerJedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarseekerJedi/gifts).



_It burns. It's loud. Where is everything?_

_It's quiet. His mind is empty. It's wrong._

_It's wrong._

**_It's WRONG._ **

\-------

_Kanan Jarrus throws his family to safety. Kanan Jarrus is ready to die._

_No he isn't._

_He pulls the Force around him at it **sings.**_

_\-----_

_It's NOTHING. THERE IS NOTHING. THIS IS WRONG._

\-----

Kanan Jarrus wakes up. He breathes in cold, dead air and with a start, realizes he's alive. He's vaguely aware that he is injured, but can't feel anything at all. And is reminded of when he was rescued from Tarkin's ship. The pain meds having numbed him so completely he couldn't feel his own body.

The Force is gone. And for a moment he panics. It's completely gone. He can't sense anything. Not his surroundings. Not energy. Not Ezra. Ezra! His son! His family! Had he succeeded? The Jedi knew he had to get to them. Hoping that the last thing he knew, the Force's song, was reassurance.

"Hello?" He tries to call. Tries to tell, but as much as his mouth moves, he doesn't hear his own voice. It's dead silent. And then, he realizes he's floating. For several terrible, chilling moments, he's pulled back to the times he's been spaced. Going to die, suffocating and frozen. And he doesn't know how long that terror lasts, but logic kicks in. He would have suffocated long ago. Which means. He's somewhere. He can't use the Force. He can't feel anything. He can't hear anything. 

Where is he?

Trying to move his arms and legs in an attempt to move gets nothing. And the nothing is starting to get to him. Before something rings loud in his ear. 

"Welcome to your new hell, Rebel scum. Feeling the affects already?" 

An unfamiliar voice rings out. The sudden noise hurts and Kanan instinctively curls in on himself. 

"You can shorten this torture. Or prolong it. You're the only one left of your little team. All you have left to live for is yourself." The core accented voice chuckles, like this is all some joke.

_Nononononopleasenonotthem._

But...Trust in the Force. He knew he had done the right thing. He had to had dinner the right thing. There was no point to anything otherwise. Was this a new tactic? Some sort of sensory deprivation torture?

He almost laughs. Did they figure regular torture didn't work last time? Kanan hides his smile in his, what he guesses, tattered sleeve. He trusts in the Force and his family.

"Kriff off!" He calls back, or hopes he does anyway.

\------

How long has it been? He can't tell. There is nothing. He is nothing. The universe is empty. Cold. 

He can't.

What's out there? He can't see it. He can't sense it. There's something dangerous out there and it's _trying to hurt him. It's going to kill him_.

Sometimes he almost hears things. Music, Rylothian dance music hummed by Hera. Or the faint Lothali folk tunes Ezra would try to explain when he felt like it, but mostly summed up to Lost In Lingual and Cultural Translation. He'd hear them calling for him or screaming.

His failure to save them. He tries to cry, but is reminded of his lost tear ducts. And his inability to feel himself cry.

Sometimes he can feel himself burning. White hot pain gone in an instant. Or odd textures dragging over his skin.

\------

During a moment of clarity, Kanan realizes that the loss of sense of touch and the fact he probably (up for debate, he hasn't felt hungry or thirsty sure waking up. However long it is. At least some time?) is at least getting hydrated, they must be doing it all when he slept. Or close to it. Unless they are knocking him put, which made this whole plan completely null and void, which was a waste of maybe limited effort. He would have to stay awake, and stop rambling to himself because that wasn't going to keep his mind together. 

He retires to stay awake. Nothing happens..

For the first time in what feels like ages, he hears a voice.

"Had enough, scum? Where is the main base located? Tell us, and we'll put you down to regular torture for the rest of what we want to know."

The sensation is both welcoming and horrible. Grating on now sensitive ears.

And then the voice yells. There's a growl. A familiar white. And it goes quiet again. 

He hits what he assumes is the ground what he guesses is hard.

He doesn't know anymore.

"Kanan!" A voice calls. 

"You're not real!" And this time he can hear himself. 

"Yes I am! I'm here! You're alive!" Oh kriff. Ezra is crying and the anger in his voice. He hears soft voices and then the floor is going and he's positioned over something. 

He's pretty sure they're moving. He can hear growls, a lightsaber, and blaster fire. But his hallucinations have been getting more ellaborate. But this is a hell of a step up.

He becomes more aware of touch. Fur beneath him and a loping gate. Ezra behind him, hitting back blaster fire, growling almost like a Loth wolf all the while.

This is real.

He's going home.

They're free and Ezra hugs him tight as the lothwolf runs.

And for a moment, Kanan forgets the Nothing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to make up posting late by making this multichapter. Next chapter is explanations and happy family times!


End file.
